Saturday, November 1, 2008

New

You know, a lot of people might look down at me for this, but I look forward to dating and yes, it is one of the things that keeps me going to the gym. It is not the sole purpose of my metamorphosis, but it plays a role. I beat myself up over things in my appearance that I no longer have control over because of laziness or self-pity on my part.

I worry that because I let myself go so much, no decent man will ever want me again. You will never convince me that appearance means nothing. I consider myself decent and I will tell you that there are physical things in men that can turn me off forever, no matter how great the person is on the inside.

After all, if it is apparent that someone doesn't take care of him/herself, how can they possibly nurture a relationship?

Get where I'm going with this?

Bottom line: I crave sex. I crave that romantic companionship that comes with it. I still have hope for the one that will make me believe in love again.

And now I obsess over how much I've screwed myself and my chances up.

2 comments:

Blue Momma said...

You go girl! Weight shouldn't hold you back, but if it is it sounds like you are on your way to getting rid of it. I'm proud of you.

My weight loss has kind of ended for a while. I'll get back to it later....

Constance (the First) said...

Men can take it too far, though, so that I think, "If they spend this much time on themselves, how do they have any time left for a relationship?"